It’s interesting how your ideas of the people in your life evolve over time. How experiences can sharpen vague forms of what you think into something more real, and reveal what people really are.
When we were little, I remember how Tatay, like every other adult, seemed to just tower over us. He was a stern disciplinarian, an enthusiastic gardener, a diligent baker of pandazel. And that was it. Just someone to listen to and obey.
And then I remember when I heard him call my name one day during the summer and I found him in the attic, on the ground, panting, breathless, asking for water as he suffered his very first stroke.
I remember when he started using his walker, and later just his wheelchair, and became bedridden and in the care of all of us and other caretakers after a few years of undergoing cancer and treatment.
Just one summer ago, I remember when he cried out in pain one night and my mom and I had to take him to the emergency room, and stay the night while we waited for his official diagnosis and treatment. I remember watching him with his eyes closed, his mouth agape, his body convulsing, just in constant pain through the dawn. It was heart wrenching.
And wasn’t just watching him age before our eyes and suffer medical ailments that’s made him less of a fuzzy authority figure and more human and real to me – to me, it’s also the stories.
When I was in seventh grade, I interviewed him for a history project about World War II, and to this day, I still can’t get over how he and his fellow guerrillas took in some Japanese prisoner, fed him rice for a few days, and then… just let him go. While the Empire of Japan was occupying the country. In World War II.
When I had to have neurosurgery just a few years ago and recover for a semester, I remember my mom and I driving back to Boston together and her stories of what he did, how he fought fiercely for fairness for his kids in school, against teachers who were biased in favor of the richer kids. How he and Nanay had to work hard everyday on the farm and didn’t have much for their kids except the books that he had them read to him and Nanay every night.
During Thanksgiving that year, Tita Nini and I were talking about the family. She told me how when she was going to school in Manila, my mom checked up on her, looked after her, took care of her, while Nanay and Tatay were still in Mauban – basically acting like a surrogate mother. And then when she briefly mentioned what Nanay and Tatay had to do to help her go to medical school, she stopped and paused, and I’ll always remember this: how she turned her face, only barely keeping back tears, her voice tightening. She stopped short of divulging details but just that reaction, the visceral emotion I could feel from her, spoke volumes to me about the sacrifices Tatay and Nanay made for her. For all of us.
And yet, for everything that he’s gone through, everything that he’s had to do to improve his family’s lot in life, I just find it amazing how he’s still retained his idealism, his sense of wonder about the world, his optimism, his faith over the years.
I remember when we were in Florida for Christmas a few years ago, we were eating out on a dock at some restaurant. And as we were sitting and just conversing idly, waiting for our orders, I remember how he just pointed up from his wheelchair at some bird in the sky and said, “Chirp! Chirp!” with these wide eyes and this expression, this unabashedly happy smile, that made you think he had just discovered something so new and profound. Some bird in the sky, flying over the dock in Florida.
I remember also when I interviewed him for another school project, this time for medical school right before I was about to start. I was writing a brief essay on his experience with cancer, and I interviewed him to uncover the biopsychosocial aspects of his illness: how he felt about the diagnosis and during treatment, how he regarded his doctors, how he coped. He initially had a prognosis of maybe just a few weeks left. And now that it’s under control – not in remission, but under control – he told me for my paper that he genuinely believes he’s getting better, that he has all the time in the world left to keep on living. And if he doesn’t, he accepts it. “If God wills it.”
And so now, to me, Tatay isn’t just another grown-up to obey, the way I used to see him when I was little. He is human. He is vulnerable. He is the most extraordinary man I know. Because he embodies all those virtues we’ve been taught to prize in the purest way: hard work, fairness, curiosity, optimism. Love.
Every time I think I’ve run a good time for my 10k, I remember how he walked for miles and miles everyday in sweltering heat with pounds and pounds of rice on his back to make a living.
Every time I think I’m doing such a good thing in the world by working in the free clinic or going off to some exotic location in pursuit of global health or social justice, these lofty goals of mine, I remember my aunt’s reaction to what he did at home in Mauban, just to give his kids and by extension, us grandkids, a chance at the education he never had.
Every time I look up from a textbook in the library, weary and tired of studying, I remember his reaction to that plain bird in Florida, the sense of wonder he still has after all these years.
And every time I ever feel uncertain about what I’m doing, the odd path I’ve taken – the fear and doubt I sometimes feel, that it isn’t worth it, that it won’t pay off, that I should give in to cynicism, that things are just about to fall apart – I remember Tatay’s deep, unabiding love, for everything he did, for his family, for the life he’s lived.
Tatay’s purity of heart, his hopefulness, his unshakeable conviction, his curiosity for the world, his capacity for love – these are all the things I would use to describe his soul. Things I seek to emulate, everyday.
Mahal kayo namin.
Happy birthday Tatay.
Tuesday, June 20, 2017
Thursday, July 14, 2016
To the west and back: UCLA
After I wrapped my interview day at WashU, I went to Lambert Airport and set off on a flight to LAX, with a stopover in Denver or Phoenix (can't remember which), to interview at the David Geffen School of Medicine at the University of California Los Angeles. I'd always wanted to visit UCLA.
It had been a long time since I visited LA, and frankly I have no recollection of the previous occasion except my family stopping over to see other family in the midst of a journey to Baja California. I was really looking forward to it; I had already dreamed up the possibility of experiencing California and West Coast living during medical school, an intriguing change after years of snowy New England.
I took a shuttle to Westwood, the neighborhood home to the UCLA campus. It was already pretty late, so I saw nothing except a host of strip malls, mid-size high rises, and lots of long roads and traffic lights. After getting off the bus, I followed my host's instructions to his apartment, where he and his roommate (both MS1s at UCLA) welcomed me with my first In 'N Out burger and plenty of descriptions of life at UCLA. Things I noticed: LA really is teeming with Asians; my hosts were very relaxed, laid-back, and friendly, hinting at the real difference in culture between here and, say, New York; In 'N Out burgers really are pretty good (great texture).
In what became a recurring theme during the interview season, I had really great hosts. My main student host took me the next morning to the front office get a separate key card for the apartment even though I was only staying for a couple of days, and his roommate graciously answered all my questions and outlined a good running path to take, as I had taken my sneakers and hoped to get a taste of Westwood by taking a jog. To put it succinctly, the run was smooth, sunny, and comfortable (as Southern California weather tends to be), with a decent amount of incline and the sights of arid hills in the distance. I could have gotten used to this.
Other things before the interview: I hung out in a coffee shop for a while; I ate at a sandwich shop my host's roommate recommended and was impressed (pretty sure it had avocado in it); I chatted with DM about my pending trip to Albuquerque right after LA.
Interview day: this was my second MMI. A little bit more on the MMI: schools like Stanford, UCLA, and NYU began adopting the MMI format in belief that performance on the MMI correlated better with performance later on than traditional interviews. Furthermore, the multiple stations in an MMI helps correct for any biases (such as those of the interviewer), while a traditional interview with just one person would depend heavily on the perception of that single interviewer. So, basically, there is some measure of rationale here.
The other interviewees and I (all of us just guys -- the only time this ever happened to me during the season) gathered in admissions office (a little bit difficult to find) and ate a bunch of fruit and muffins while waiting. A staff member then explained to us how the MMI would go down, how fortunate we were to be interviewing at UCLA and that that alone meant we must be at the top of the applicant pool, and how great life at UCLA and in the city of Los Angeles is. Honestly, not much else besides. No official presentation, no pamphlets. Very sparse compared to the other schools I had visited thus far, which generally gave out a folder with all kinds of details.
We were taken in a shuttle to another building on campus, given instructions by the admissions dean (who the staff member enthusiastically endorsed), and then... that's it! We did the MMI. I didn't enjoy it. In fact, it was a little worse than NYU. Questions that I remember, in my own words:
It had been a long time since I visited LA, and frankly I have no recollection of the previous occasion except my family stopping over to see other family in the midst of a journey to Baja California. I was really looking forward to it; I had already dreamed up the possibility of experiencing California and West Coast living during medical school, an intriguing change after years of snowy New England.
I took a shuttle to Westwood, the neighborhood home to the UCLA campus. It was already pretty late, so I saw nothing except a host of strip malls, mid-size high rises, and lots of long roads and traffic lights. After getting off the bus, I followed my host's instructions to his apartment, where he and his roommate (both MS1s at UCLA) welcomed me with my first In 'N Out burger and plenty of descriptions of life at UCLA. Things I noticed: LA really is teeming with Asians; my hosts were very relaxed, laid-back, and friendly, hinting at the real difference in culture between here and, say, New York; In 'N Out burgers really are pretty good (great texture).
In what became a recurring theme during the interview season, I had really great hosts. My main student host took me the next morning to the front office get a separate key card for the apartment even though I was only staying for a couple of days, and his roommate graciously answered all my questions and outlined a good running path to take, as I had taken my sneakers and hoped to get a taste of Westwood by taking a jog. To put it succinctly, the run was smooth, sunny, and comfortable (as Southern California weather tends to be), with a decent amount of incline and the sights of arid hills in the distance. I could have gotten used to this.
Other things before the interview: I hung out in a coffee shop for a while; I ate at a sandwich shop my host's roommate recommended and was impressed (pretty sure it had avocado in it); I chatted with DM about my pending trip to Albuquerque right after LA.
Interview day: this was my second MMI. A little bit more on the MMI: schools like Stanford, UCLA, and NYU began adopting the MMI format in belief that performance on the MMI correlated better with performance later on than traditional interviews. Furthermore, the multiple stations in an MMI helps correct for any biases (such as those of the interviewer), while a traditional interview with just one person would depend heavily on the perception of that single interviewer. So, basically, there is some measure of rationale here.
The other interviewees and I (all of us just guys -- the only time this ever happened to me during the season) gathered in admissions office (a little bit difficult to find) and ate a bunch of fruit and muffins while waiting. A staff member then explained to us how the MMI would go down, how fortunate we were to be interviewing at UCLA and that that alone meant we must be at the top of the applicant pool, and how great life at UCLA and in the city of Los Angeles is. Honestly, not much else besides. No official presentation, no pamphlets. Very sparse compared to the other schools I had visited thus far, which generally gave out a folder with all kinds of details.
We were taken in a shuttle to another building on campus, given instructions by the admissions dean (who the staff member enthusiastically endorsed), and then... that's it! We did the MMI. I didn't enjoy it. In fact, it was a little worse than NYU. Questions that I remember, in my own words:
- If you have a car with a restricted parking permit but you are not disabled, is it ethical to use it to park in a restricted parking space? What if there is an emergency? What if there are no other cars around?
- A situation in which you are facing away from the interviewer and an assistant, and you are given a diagram for something they are to construct with your instructions. You cannot look at the interviewer and assistant. Afterward, the interviewer asks how the process went, how communication could have been improved, why this is relevant in medicine, etc.
- The interviewer presents a video of homeless person and how he feels about his life in the city, which is later revealed to be an actor. The interviewer asks for your reaction.
- You're doing some kind of survey of different households and you notice that one household is lacking in medical services (or something like that). What do you do?
- Someone has undergone a sex change and is now seeking additional surgical treatment for something cosmetic, but wants to retain confidentiality by not revealing certain critical body parts during the surgery. How would you accommodate the patient?
- Tests reveal that a patient has cancer (or some kind of terminal illness, I can't remember), but the patient's partner advises not telling the patient right away for fear of how the patient would react. Does the patient still have the right to know? How do you respond?
- One station has a computer with a prompt asking about your projected career in medicine and its underlying motivations. I basically ended up trying to sum up my personal statement as best I could, as quickly as I could. I stopped midway through a sentence, knowing that they had said they didn't expect any of us to finish writing anything too substantive.
- Have you ever done anything wrong? If so, what?
At the end of the stations, they had each of us go back to our original first station to have a more traditional interview for about 20 minutes, similar to NYU's format. This was probably the worst part. I perceived my interviewer to be a very old, conservative guy who seemed deeply skeptical of my motivations in medicine and aspirations to global medicine. He also found it concerning that I hadn't chosen a specialty yet. I honestly felt like I was just a bit unlucky here.
After the MMI, we were invited by the dean to give our own comments and criticisms of the different stations. I offered that the computer station was biased against those who simply didn't have the same typing ability as others. We then had a tour, which honestly was probably the best part of the day. It wasn't so much the tour itself, but rather, the two student tour guides, who were highly enthusiastic and friendly -- very different from the overall lack of presentation from the admissions office. We ended with a chat with Dr. Iljie Fitzgerald, the new Assistant Dean for Student Affairs who made it clear that she would work with students individually to direct them in whatever way they wish, whether it be additional support from the school or a connection to a suitable research opportunity. And John, one of the tour guides, offered his own feedback on the school, that he felt the school starts "cold," that it could do a better job selling itself to prospective students on interview day. Spot on. I was particularly appreciative when he offered his phone number and email for anyone to just reach out in case they wanted to chat, especially in the heat of the interview season and the feeling that the process was unfair. "I don't know how that guy got in, especially when I know for a fact that he just smokes weed all day." Hilarious. I had a good number of invites at this point, but I still made a point to reach out to him by email afterward and thank him for his empathy.
The day ended pretty quickly in the early afternoon, and my flight wasn't till late at night, so I had a good amount of time to kill. Another interviewee wasn't flying out till the next day, and he happened to have a car rental, so we decided to drive together to see the beach. I liked him: a refugee (along with his family) from Afghanistan, had had a difficult time growing up in upstate New York, was currently getting a Masters in something related to biomechanics, and applied to UCLA almost on a whim (just seemed like a good school in the west to apply to, he said). And we had a good time eating Mexi-Cali food and enjoying the weather:
A seal -- there's a video I might upload later
He graciously drove me back to campus, and as I had already said goodbye to my host before the interview, I just took off for the airport. I had mixed feelings about UCLA, but overall I felt like I could come here. (Especially with the David Geffen full scholarship a possibility...) But at the time, I wasn't really counting on admission, and of course, now that it's July, I won't be attending. But alas -- till next time, LA!
Sunday, July 10, 2016
To the west and back: WashU in St. Louis
Shortly after my interview at Columbia (for point of reference, that was November 12th), I spent the weekend recuperating and at the same time preparing for a nearly two week trip to the west coast and back to interview at Washington University in St. Louis, UCLA, and the University of Chicago, with a break in Albuquerque between UCLA and UChicago to chill with DM.
I arrived in St. Louis, Missouri, the Sunday immediately after my interview at Columbia. Lambert St. Louis Airport, for the record, is quite small. I took the train heading downtown, stopped at Central West End, and climbed the steps leading up to WashU's campus.
It was... quaint. I failed to take pictures, but it was a nice looking campus. Plenty of tall buildings. Clean. Quiet.
I went to Olin Hall, a dormitory for first year students that the school offered for interviewees for the night. After being kindly oriented by the front desk staff, I settled into my room, relaxed for a little bit, and then went to go have a lunch. I remember that it wasn't a far walk to the college town-ish part of St. Louis, and that I had a nice, "Modern American" type meal. I also got myself a fro-yo. All solid, but nothing that stands out in memory.
I then decided to head downtown. I'll be honest: I thought that the chances I'd end up here for the long term were quite low to start with, so I decided to see St. Louis while I had the chance. I took the train for the stop at the Gateway Arch, probably St. Louis's most distinctive architectural feature. I purchased a ticket to enter the Gateway Arch and go to the top. Everything was in walking distance.
And here's what I saw:
Inside City Hall, where you can get tickets to the Gateway Arch and read a little bit about St. Louis's history:
Leading up to the Gateway Arch:
View at the top:
At the back, a view of the Mississippi River:
I spent maybe an hour at the Arch, making small chat with other visitors (generally from the Midwest) and taking in the history of the Arch and the views. And then I decided that I was good, and left.
One last view of City Hall and the Arch before taking the train back:
I arrived in St. Louis, Missouri, the Sunday immediately after my interview at Columbia. Lambert St. Louis Airport, for the record, is quite small. I took the train heading downtown, stopped at Central West End, and climbed the steps leading up to WashU's campus.
It was... quaint. I failed to take pictures, but it was a nice looking campus. Plenty of tall buildings. Clean. Quiet.
I went to Olin Hall, a dormitory for first year students that the school offered for interviewees for the night. After being kindly oriented by the front desk staff, I settled into my room, relaxed for a little bit, and then went to go have a lunch. I remember that it wasn't a far walk to the college town-ish part of St. Louis, and that I had a nice, "Modern American" type meal. I also got myself a fro-yo. All solid, but nothing that stands out in memory.
I then decided to head downtown. I'll be honest: I thought that the chances I'd end up here for the long term were quite low to start with, so I decided to see St. Louis while I had the chance. I took the train for the stop at the Gateway Arch, probably St. Louis's most distinctive architectural feature. I purchased a ticket to enter the Gateway Arch and go to the top. Everything was in walking distance.
And here's what I saw:
Inside City Hall, where you can get tickets to the Gateway Arch and read a little bit about St. Louis's history:
Leading up to the Gateway Arch:
View at the top:
At the back, a view of the Mississippi River:
I spent maybe an hour at the Arch, making small chat with other visitors (generally from the Midwest) and taking in the history of the Arch and the views. And then I decided that I was good, and left.
One last view of City Hall and the Arch before taking the train back:
Once I settled back into Olin, I decided to go for a run in Forest Park around sunset. It was too dark to take any pictures, but I do remember that it was a really nice park. Large, spacious, not too crowded, surrounded by suburban type homes and apartment buildings. Some people playing recreational sports in patches here and there. A brightly colored museum nearby.
A small city, a nice park, quiet living. My glimpse into St. Louis living.
After I showered off the sweat from my run (in dormitory style bathrooms... not something I miss from Ellicott Hall at UMD), I went to a pizza get-together put on by the med students for interviewees. There were a lot of people and a lot of pizza. I enjoyed a few bites, chatted a little bit with some other interviewees and med students. The interviewees were all quite young, nice. Sadly I can't recall anything more distinctive about them. The medical students were happy to chat, but the one thing I remember is asking a student why she chose WashU. "Well, it was the best school I got into," she said, with a shrug. I smiled and nodded, but frankly, I felt less than inspired.
I had my interview the following day. The other interviewees and I met up in some library-type room for probably the best breakfast I had had thus far (and which would continue to stand out throughout the interview season), with sausages, eggs, tomatoes, quinoa, other things I don't remember except that I liked it and felt full. Staff gave us instructions and then guided us into another room to hear a presentation about the curriculum and student life.
All well and good. We then went to the rooms on our instruction sheets for our interviews, in a variety of places. I only had one interview, with the admissions dean herself, Dr. Valerie Ratts, and it was quite early in the day. The interview went... okay. She remarked on my record when I came in, and then asked me what I would come to find to be standard questions, like "Have you considered the ramifications of going into medicine?" and "What kind of work are you doing in South Africa?" Somewhat similar to my interview with Dr. Landry at Columbia, but just a little different in tone. She was friendly but direct, and she made every effort to sell WashU. She even made what might have been swiping gestures at programs like Columbia's three year PhD-to-MD program, saying "medicine is a big commitment... you can't study it in three years." And when I asked about the typical patient population at Barnes-Jewish (WashU's main teaching hospital) and the lifestyle of St. Louis, she said it was essentially like Baltimore but without the Bay, and that the patient population is arguably more diverse than some larger cities, since Barnes-Jewish provided catchment for not just St. Louis residents but also for those living in the surrounding suburban and rural areas.
After the interview, I waited at a nearby cafe in the building with some other interviewees, listening to bits and pieces of gossip about the interview season. One guy found UCLA "underwhelming," and another guy said he had either already gotten into Baylor or had an interview lined up, and was just hoping for that really. People seemed at least modestly impressed by WashU, but I don't remember meeting anyone dying to get in. Just my personal sample.
I enjoyed the tour and appreciated the tour guide's friendliness and general knowledge of the school (an MS4 looking to specialize in radiation oncology, if I remember correctly), though really, at this point, I was becoming more and more convinced that all med school tours were pretty much the same. The financial aid info session was helpful and there was mention of merit scholarships, to be distributed in however way the committee saw fit. I enjoyed the lunch -- the food was pretty good, buffet style, and the students who came to eat with us with all warm and polite. I'll be honest again: I was kind of zoning out for a lot of it and have no good recollection of the questions that my interviewees asked and the answers they received.
The day ended with Dr. Ratts coming to say goodbye, asking us to fill out surveys for the admissions office, and giving us a cookie. It was a good cookie. And overall, I enjoyed my time at WashU. Everyone I had met seemed to all be "good cookies," as TL would say.
But as I left on the train to the airport, watching the landscape of St. Louis and Missouri, I knew from the start and knew now that the odds were extremely low that I would end up here. A great school that lived up to its reputation, but did not really win me over.
I got on a flight to LAX.
Sunday, July 3, 2016
Columbia P&S
Ah, Columbia!
Riding with my Uber driver to Washington Heights, I think that's when it was beginning to really strike me just how GIGANTIC New York really is. I had been to NYC before and seen some of the sights -- Empire State, Statue of Liberty, the Met, a Broadway show -- but I think now that I have a bit more context, having lived in Boston for five years and seen more of the world up close, I was able to really appreciate how unmatched NYC is in the US in its sheer density of tall buildings, people, shops, etc. And this was without even leaving Manhattan.
I arrived and strolled into the tower that matched the address my host, NS, gave me. She instructed me to just come up to her floor (it was a tall floor in a tall building -- can't remember the number though) and knocked and was let in by a roommate, and found a life-size cut-out of Benedict Cumberbatch as Sherlock Holmes standing right before me. Amazing. And set the tone for how my stay with NS went. (Really wish I had taken a picture of that cut-out now.)
NS was really great. Went through the whole she-bang of trading life stories, why medicine, etc. She graduated college at some ridiculously young age -- 16, I think? -- and applied to MD/PhD programs, but was told she was, well, 16. (Maybe it was 17.) Anyway, she decided to do a joint PhD program with the NIH and Oxford, and split her time between England and Bethesda. But she knew she wanted to do the MD as well: "I think medicine is just really cool." She applied to Columbia, ended up being sorted into an interview for the three year PhD-to-MD program; the program basically admits those with PhDs into an accelerated three year MD program, intending to support those who wish to do biomedical research but supplement their training with formal clinical training.
We kept talking and I met some of her roommates as well, and ended up hanging out with them as NS went off to get a haircut at 9 or 9:30 pm or so. (Ah, the city that never sleeps.) We walked to the other tower (there are twin buildings) to join some other P&S students to watch the Republican presidential debate. The debate of course was just sad, but it was interesting to get to interact with more current students. I appreciated the diversity of interests of the students -- one spoke to me about opportunities to get involved in theater and the arts -- and they all definitely had a sharply liberal, political bent (at least the ones I met). I remembered that NS told me earlier that what distinguishes P&S students from other med students is that they're "plugged in"; I suppose that by this she meant that they're engaged, they get involved, and they're proactive in the Columbia community.
An interesting story: NS also told me of how NewYork-Presbyterian, Columbia's main teaching hospital (which it shares with Cornell), had tried to abolish the Center for Family Medicine. Apparently the student body and many faculty were shocked and protested, speaking to how "plugged in" P&S students are but also reflecting the attitudes of some of the faculty and administration on primary care in general. I appreciated what NS said about the student response, but did see that P&S really did seem geared towards specialization.
I actually scheduled my interview for Thursday (and my NYU interview was Tuesday), so I relaxed a bit the day before strolling around Washington Heights, getting a feel for the community, hanging out in cafes and lecture halls to do some work and kill time. In the middle of the afternoon, I received an email from the University of Maryland School of Medicine -- finally. Application on "hold." I was amused. I had the security of several other interviews already, so I wasn't too worried.
When night arrived, NS texted me asking if I wanted to come to the Global Health Lecture Series and then come rock climbing at a gym in Queen with her. Obviously, if you know me, the answer to both is YES. I had a fabulous time. The lecture on obesity gave me a handle on what the Columbia community was like... and let me meet some admissions committee faculty members. I focused on not screwing anything up.
The rock climbing adventure with NS was just that -- quite an adventure. Not only do I generally enjoy physical activities, but I actually met a random NYC stranger who happened to be a Columbia alum (undergraduate, not med) and was now doing documentary filmmaking on the American Civil War (if I remember correctly). We got a good conversation going and ended up leaving together with NS on the subway, where NS ran into other people she knew and we all ran into other strangers who struck up conversations. I'm not sure if that's what a typical trip through NYC on the subway is like, but I was certainly impressed with urban life that night.
NS graciously lent me a super tech towel (very small, but dries quickly or just absorbs tons of liquid) and I woke up early along with her to head out. We parted ways, she to do some shadowing and I to the interview.
The interview day was fairly similar to the set ups at UVa and NYU. The other interviewees and I sat in a semi-circle in a small waiting room, chattered for a bit, then heard instructions from admissions staff. Columbia's system is nice and simple: a single interview. That's it. Though the admissions chair, Dr. Stephen Nicholas (who I shook hands with the night before at the global health lecture), does spend some time talking about his journey to Columbia in very aspirational terms, why he feels it's such a "special place," and then asks each of us in turn to talk about something that "gives us joy." I didn't have a great answer for this; I talked about the feast I tried to cook up for my South African colleagues (with strawberry cobbler and other American plates) and my thrill-seeking ways that made me aspire to bungee jump off the bridge at Victoria Falls after I finish my job. I wished I had kept the story shorter and more concise, but I doubt it mattered too much.
I interviewed with Dr. Donald Landry, chair of medicine. After waiting for 15 minutes with his secretaries outside his office, he ushered me in and just went straight to it. It felt like NY -- very direct, straightforward, to the point. We talked about my PhD project, why medicine, why I sought the clinical experience, personal family stories around illness, such as those of my grandfather and my own head accident. We also talked about Paul Farmer -- and I loosened myself to my most liberal self, and somehow ended up proselytizing my belief in health as a human right, how I felt everyone around the world deserves the type of care you would receive at MGH, Johns Hopkins, NewYork-Presbyterian... I wasn't really thinking when I said this. I just said what I felt. And in that, I felt like I had at least portrayed my truest self, though I knew what I was saying might or might not be well received. I couldn't really tell from Dr. Landry's expression. His lips were turned up very slightly and looked mildly impressed, perhaps with my boundless, idealistic naivete.
At the end, he gave me his card to send him some of the work I was doing for Bertha, specifically the short documentary films, and bid me farewell. Oh, and in closing he did congratulate me on a "spectacular" record and that I was very well qualified to begin training in medicine. And after I asked, he also said that the three year PhD-to-MD program (NS's program) was not quite right for me, given my career aspirations.
The only thing left for me was the tour. It was the usual -- a couple of students took us around the various parts of the P&S campus, let us glimpse Bard Hall (the dormitory where most first year students live -- let's just say it felt like college again), and took us around NewYork-Presbyterian. I was most impressed by the view:
There really is something about the vast expanse of the NYC skyline. I suppose I had my urbanite tastes affirmed.
And... that was it! I left feeling good about the interview, and waited around in a coffee shop somewhere by the bus stop for a while. At the time, I was highly impressed by P&S. NS was a great host, Dr. Nicholas did a good job making us really believe that P&S was amazing, and I wasn't really sure what Dr. Landry thought of me, but if I had to guess, I would have been willing to guess that I made a positive impression. I mean, he did say I had a "spectacular" record, and he also happened to be a PhD in Cambridge (Harvard Chemistry) who ended up going to medical school, much like myself. On the bus ride back to DC, I had high hopes!
Next episode: my first foray to the midwest at WashU in St. Louis!
Riding with my Uber driver to Washington Heights, I think that's when it was beginning to really strike me just how GIGANTIC New York really is. I had been to NYC before and seen some of the sights -- Empire State, Statue of Liberty, the Met, a Broadway show -- but I think now that I have a bit more context, having lived in Boston for five years and seen more of the world up close, I was able to really appreciate how unmatched NYC is in the US in its sheer density of tall buildings, people, shops, etc. And this was without even leaving Manhattan.
I arrived and strolled into the tower that matched the address my host, NS, gave me. She instructed me to just come up to her floor (it was a tall floor in a tall building -- can't remember the number though) and knocked and was let in by a roommate, and found a life-size cut-out of Benedict Cumberbatch as Sherlock Holmes standing right before me. Amazing. And set the tone for how my stay with NS went. (Really wish I had taken a picture of that cut-out now.)
NS was really great. Went through the whole she-bang of trading life stories, why medicine, etc. She graduated college at some ridiculously young age -- 16, I think? -- and applied to MD/PhD programs, but was told she was, well, 16. (Maybe it was 17.) Anyway, she decided to do a joint PhD program with the NIH and Oxford, and split her time between England and Bethesda. But she knew she wanted to do the MD as well: "I think medicine is just really cool." She applied to Columbia, ended up being sorted into an interview for the three year PhD-to-MD program; the program basically admits those with PhDs into an accelerated three year MD program, intending to support those who wish to do biomedical research but supplement their training with formal clinical training.
We kept talking and I met some of her roommates as well, and ended up hanging out with them as NS went off to get a haircut at 9 or 9:30 pm or so. (Ah, the city that never sleeps.) We walked to the other tower (there are twin buildings) to join some other P&S students to watch the Republican presidential debate. The debate of course was just sad, but it was interesting to get to interact with more current students. I appreciated the diversity of interests of the students -- one spoke to me about opportunities to get involved in theater and the arts -- and they all definitely had a sharply liberal, political bent (at least the ones I met). I remembered that NS told me earlier that what distinguishes P&S students from other med students is that they're "plugged in"; I suppose that by this she meant that they're engaged, they get involved, and they're proactive in the Columbia community.
An interesting story: NS also told me of how NewYork-Presbyterian, Columbia's main teaching hospital (which it shares with Cornell), had tried to abolish the Center for Family Medicine. Apparently the student body and many faculty were shocked and protested, speaking to how "plugged in" P&S students are but also reflecting the attitudes of some of the faculty and administration on primary care in general. I appreciated what NS said about the student response, but did see that P&S really did seem geared towards specialization.
I actually scheduled my interview for Thursday (and my NYU interview was Tuesday), so I relaxed a bit the day before strolling around Washington Heights, getting a feel for the community, hanging out in cafes and lecture halls to do some work and kill time. In the middle of the afternoon, I received an email from the University of Maryland School of Medicine -- finally. Application on "hold." I was amused. I had the security of several other interviews already, so I wasn't too worried.
When night arrived, NS texted me asking if I wanted to come to the Global Health Lecture Series and then come rock climbing at a gym in Queen with her. Obviously, if you know me, the answer to both is YES. I had a fabulous time. The lecture on obesity gave me a handle on what the Columbia community was like... and let me meet some admissions committee faculty members. I focused on not screwing anything up.
The rock climbing adventure with NS was just that -- quite an adventure. Not only do I generally enjoy physical activities, but I actually met a random NYC stranger who happened to be a Columbia alum (undergraduate, not med) and was now doing documentary filmmaking on the American Civil War (if I remember correctly). We got a good conversation going and ended up leaving together with NS on the subway, where NS ran into other people she knew and we all ran into other strangers who struck up conversations. I'm not sure if that's what a typical trip through NYC on the subway is like, but I was certainly impressed with urban life that night.
NS graciously lent me a super tech towel (very small, but dries quickly or just absorbs tons of liquid) and I woke up early along with her to head out. We parted ways, she to do some shadowing and I to the interview.
The interview day was fairly similar to the set ups at UVa and NYU. The other interviewees and I sat in a semi-circle in a small waiting room, chattered for a bit, then heard instructions from admissions staff. Columbia's system is nice and simple: a single interview. That's it. Though the admissions chair, Dr. Stephen Nicholas (who I shook hands with the night before at the global health lecture), does spend some time talking about his journey to Columbia in very aspirational terms, why he feels it's such a "special place," and then asks each of us in turn to talk about something that "gives us joy." I didn't have a great answer for this; I talked about the feast I tried to cook up for my South African colleagues (with strawberry cobbler and other American plates) and my thrill-seeking ways that made me aspire to bungee jump off the bridge at Victoria Falls after I finish my job. I wished I had kept the story shorter and more concise, but I doubt it mattered too much.
I interviewed with Dr. Donald Landry, chair of medicine. After waiting for 15 minutes with his secretaries outside his office, he ushered me in and just went straight to it. It felt like NY -- very direct, straightforward, to the point. We talked about my PhD project, why medicine, why I sought the clinical experience, personal family stories around illness, such as those of my grandfather and my own head accident. We also talked about Paul Farmer -- and I loosened myself to my most liberal self, and somehow ended up proselytizing my belief in health as a human right, how I felt everyone around the world deserves the type of care you would receive at MGH, Johns Hopkins, NewYork-Presbyterian... I wasn't really thinking when I said this. I just said what I felt. And in that, I felt like I had at least portrayed my truest self, though I knew what I was saying might or might not be well received. I couldn't really tell from Dr. Landry's expression. His lips were turned up very slightly and looked mildly impressed, perhaps with my boundless, idealistic naivete.
At the end, he gave me his card to send him some of the work I was doing for Bertha, specifically the short documentary films, and bid me farewell. Oh, and in closing he did congratulate me on a "spectacular" record and that I was very well qualified to begin training in medicine. And after I asked, he also said that the three year PhD-to-MD program (NS's program) was not quite right for me, given my career aspirations.
The only thing left for me was the tour. It was the usual -- a couple of students took us around the various parts of the P&S campus, let us glimpse Bard Hall (the dormitory where most first year students live -- let's just say it felt like college again), and took us around NewYork-Presbyterian. I was most impressed by the view:
There really is something about the vast expanse of the NYC skyline. I suppose I had my urbanite tastes affirmed.
And... that was it! I left feeling good about the interview, and waited around in a coffee shop somewhere by the bus stop for a while. At the time, I was highly impressed by P&S. NS was a great host, Dr. Nicholas did a good job making us really believe that P&S was amazing, and I wasn't really sure what Dr. Landry thought of me, but if I had to guess, I would have been willing to guess that I made a positive impression. I mean, he did say I had a "spectacular" record, and he also happened to be a PhD in Cambridge (Harvard Chemistry) who ended up going to medical school, much like myself. On the bus ride back to DC, I had high hopes!
Next episode: my first foray to the midwest at WashU in St. Louis!
Monday, June 13, 2016
First admission and interviews in New York
The day after I interviewed at UVa, I was admitted. Woo! At least I knew then that I had an offer to medical school.
The next week after, I had interviews in New York: NYU and Columbia P&S. Here follows my reviews of both schools, as well as UVa (note that these are inevitably biased by my personal experiences and impressions):
UVa: I had a nice time here. I first drove to my student host's place and settled in. She was maybe a tad awkward but generally very nice and generous. She lives with her BF, who was quite friendly. After asking her where I could eat, I found myself at a hipster-type fast casual place with a Chipotle set-up that serves sandwiches and salads. Ate my dinner, went back, and called it an early night.
After my student host showed me to the admissions office, we parted ways, and I waited in the library reviewing my notes on UVa for a while before the office opened. The administrative staff was very gracious and hospitable, showcasing Southern charm. My fellow interviewees were either still in college or maybe one to two years out -- quite young, all either from the South or the West Coast, and all fine and friendly. There were about eight of us or so. We went filled out some paperwork and then sat in and had one of the admissions faculty come and give us a presentation. I liked her a lot -- very charming, she had memorized all our backgrounds and recited each of these to introduce us to one another. I enjoyed the presentation -- it just felt generally pleasant, with the school selling its 1.5 year pre-clinical curriculum (imitated by others across the country) to give students some clinical exposure and reinforce material before Step 1, giving a boost to scores. I also remember this explicitly: "The philosophy of UVa is to nurture students and let them decide what kind of physicians they want to be." Okay, not verbatim, but essentially what she said. I liked that, and I liked the personal touch lent to the talk and the prospects of personal mentorship. Research opportunities were discussed, though I don't remember my interest being particularly piqued at anything.
Afterward, a couple of MS4 students came to take us on a campus tour. UVa is a beautiful school (though I suppose I knew this since I had visited CC before). The lecture halls and auditoriums were nicely constructed, all consistent with the architectural style of the rest of the university. The hospital looked like a nice, standard hospital. After a fellow interviewee chatted me up enough, I was compelled to reveal my "story" as to how I eventually came to choose to apply to medical school, and certainly got a lot of "oohs" and "ahhs" about my medical accident. I was used to this at this point.
Lunch was great! Buffet style, with plenty of Southern type food and other types. I honestly don't remember exactly what I ate, but I just remember it being very good and with good dessert (important, obviously).
After lunch, we went back to the admissions office to wait for our interviews. Essentially, a couple of faculty and a student were conducting the interviews, and each interviewee had two half-hour interviews, all kind of dispersed over the course of a few hours in the afternoon or so. My first interview was with a faculty who found my story really intriguing and was glad I seemed to be fine and healthy. Honestly, I felt like this interview was fairly easy and relaxed -- I honestly felt like he wanted to just admit me. It was a nice feeling. Still kept my guard up though with the student interviewer, though she was also warm and relaxed. She asked fair questions about whether medicine was what I really wanted to do, particularly from a financial, practical standpoint, and was also curious about my Alternative Spring Break experience in Chicago.
That was it. We were all pretty much finished at that point, so we all took leave and said our goodbyes. I texted friend JX, an MD/PhD student here, and hung out at a coffee shop for a couple of hours, just chatting about Charlottesville and UVa and medicine and life in general. It was cool -- I honestly hadn't known him that well, mostly through VL, but I had a good time.
And then that was it! Three hour drive back home that night. Email the very next day told me I had been admitted! (I kind of knew it was coming after my faculty interviewer responded to my thank you email extremely positively.)
NYU: the first New York interview, a few days after my UVa admission. I took the bus and walked over to the school campus, where my student host lives. The dorms at NYU are literally just that -- dorms. Not much space, common rooms and kitchens, apparently a gym. Frankly I didn't like it. But at least each apartment had a bathroom, and admittedly, I wasn't really used to life in Manhattan.
Host was a nice guy, though not the most active. Kind of just took me in and then went off to study and left me to my own devices. Can't blame him for needing to study though. And we did have a nice pizza dinner together. He told me to consider where I'd be "most happy" as I went through the interview process. Wise words, though I do wonder if that's how he rationalizes his admission to NYU versus his rejection at Hopkins, his original top choice.
Went to the admissions office in the morning. After packing away my stuff in a closet (along with everyone else's), we sat and waited until one of the admission staff came and briefed us on how the day was supposed to go. We were to listen to one of the admissions faculty deliver a presentation on the school, then be split into two groups: one would take a tour of the hospital and then do the interviews, while the other would do these in reverse order. In between, there was to be a lunch with current students.
I was in the group that toured the hospital first. I'll be honest: even at this point in only my second interview, hospital tours were beginning to blur. We toured three hospitals if I remember correctly: a public hospital, a private hospital, and a VA hospital. I was impressed by the public hospital, Bellevue -- beautiful lobby and perhaps the widest range of patients I'd ever heard (foreign royalty, a poor guy from Brooklyn, etc.).
The lunch went just fine. The meal was okay, and the current students seemed happy to answer questions, talk about their lives at NYU, etc. Shortly after, we organized for our interviews...
These were a little weird. The way Multi Mini Interviews (MMIs) work are that basically there several stations where we each rotate. At each station, you stand outside the room and read a prompt on the door for two minutes, then go inside and discuss the prompt with an interviewer. The prompts ranged in topic. A few in my own words, as best as I can remember:
The next week after, I had interviews in New York: NYU and Columbia P&S. Here follows my reviews of both schools, as well as UVa (note that these are inevitably biased by my personal experiences and impressions):
UVa: I had a nice time here. I first drove to my student host's place and settled in. She was maybe a tad awkward but generally very nice and generous. She lives with her BF, who was quite friendly. After asking her where I could eat, I found myself at a hipster-type fast casual place with a Chipotle set-up that serves sandwiches and salads. Ate my dinner, went back, and called it an early night.
After my student host showed me to the admissions office, we parted ways, and I waited in the library reviewing my notes on UVa for a while before the office opened. The administrative staff was very gracious and hospitable, showcasing Southern charm. My fellow interviewees were either still in college or maybe one to two years out -- quite young, all either from the South or the West Coast, and all fine and friendly. There were about eight of us or so. We went filled out some paperwork and then sat in and had one of the admissions faculty come and give us a presentation. I liked her a lot -- very charming, she had memorized all our backgrounds and recited each of these to introduce us to one another. I enjoyed the presentation -- it just felt generally pleasant, with the school selling its 1.5 year pre-clinical curriculum (imitated by others across the country) to give students some clinical exposure and reinforce material before Step 1, giving a boost to scores. I also remember this explicitly: "The philosophy of UVa is to nurture students and let them decide what kind of physicians they want to be." Okay, not verbatim, but essentially what she said. I liked that, and I liked the personal touch lent to the talk and the prospects of personal mentorship. Research opportunities were discussed, though I don't remember my interest being particularly piqued at anything.
Afterward, a couple of MS4 students came to take us on a campus tour. UVa is a beautiful school (though I suppose I knew this since I had visited CC before). The lecture halls and auditoriums were nicely constructed, all consistent with the architectural style of the rest of the university. The hospital looked like a nice, standard hospital. After a fellow interviewee chatted me up enough, I was compelled to reveal my "story" as to how I eventually came to choose to apply to medical school, and certainly got a lot of "oohs" and "ahhs" about my medical accident. I was used to this at this point.
Lunch was great! Buffet style, with plenty of Southern type food and other types. I honestly don't remember exactly what I ate, but I just remember it being very good and with good dessert (important, obviously).
After lunch, we went back to the admissions office to wait for our interviews. Essentially, a couple of faculty and a student were conducting the interviews, and each interviewee had two half-hour interviews, all kind of dispersed over the course of a few hours in the afternoon or so. My first interview was with a faculty who found my story really intriguing and was glad I seemed to be fine and healthy. Honestly, I felt like this interview was fairly easy and relaxed -- I honestly felt like he wanted to just admit me. It was a nice feeling. Still kept my guard up though with the student interviewer, though she was also warm and relaxed. She asked fair questions about whether medicine was what I really wanted to do, particularly from a financial, practical standpoint, and was also curious about my Alternative Spring Break experience in Chicago.
That was it. We were all pretty much finished at that point, so we all took leave and said our goodbyes. I texted friend JX, an MD/PhD student here, and hung out at a coffee shop for a couple of hours, just chatting about Charlottesville and UVa and medicine and life in general. It was cool -- I honestly hadn't known him that well, mostly through VL, but I had a good time.
And then that was it! Three hour drive back home that night. Email the very next day told me I had been admitted! (I kind of knew it was coming after my faculty interviewer responded to my thank you email extremely positively.)
NYU: the first New York interview, a few days after my UVa admission. I took the bus and walked over to the school campus, where my student host lives. The dorms at NYU are literally just that -- dorms. Not much space, common rooms and kitchens, apparently a gym. Frankly I didn't like it. But at least each apartment had a bathroom, and admittedly, I wasn't really used to life in Manhattan.
Host was a nice guy, though not the most active. Kind of just took me in and then went off to study and left me to my own devices. Can't blame him for needing to study though. And we did have a nice pizza dinner together. He told me to consider where I'd be "most happy" as I went through the interview process. Wise words, though I do wonder if that's how he rationalizes his admission to NYU versus his rejection at Hopkins, his original top choice.
Went to the admissions office in the morning. After packing away my stuff in a closet (along with everyone else's), we sat and waited until one of the admission staff came and briefed us on how the day was supposed to go. We were to listen to one of the admissions faculty deliver a presentation on the school, then be split into two groups: one would take a tour of the hospital and then do the interviews, while the other would do these in reverse order. In between, there was to be a lunch with current students.
I was in the group that toured the hospital first. I'll be honest: even at this point in only my second interview, hospital tours were beginning to blur. We toured three hospitals if I remember correctly: a public hospital, a private hospital, and a VA hospital. I was impressed by the public hospital, Bellevue -- beautiful lobby and perhaps the widest range of patients I'd ever heard (foreign royalty, a poor guy from Brooklyn, etc.).
The lunch went just fine. The meal was okay, and the current students seemed happy to answer questions, talk about their lives at NYU, etc. Shortly after, we organized for our interviews...
These were a little weird. The way Multi Mini Interviews (MMIs) work are that basically there several stations where we each rotate. At each station, you stand outside the room and read a prompt on the door for two minutes, then go inside and discuss the prompt with an interviewer. The prompts ranged in topic. A few in my own words, as best as I can remember:
- If you had to make a documentary, what would you focus on?
- Imagine a friend asks you for help on her or his college personal statement. How much help is it okay to provide?
- There was a free station where you sat there for eight minutes.
- There was also station that was meant to be a "traditional" interview. Lasted about 15-20 minutes, with questions such as "How would you friends describe you?" and "Why medicine?" Fairly typical questions, but what made it unnerving was that the interviewer showed absolutely no emotion, which made it awkward, particularly when I meant to inject humor into some of my answers.
I can't remember any more questions. Right after the last station, we quickly convened, were told some instructions by the staff on thank you notes and updates and that sort of thing, and... that's it! I peaced out pretty quickly into the rain and called for an Uber to Washington Heights, to meet my host at Columbia P&S... the subject of the next post!
Sunday, May 1, 2016
When I returned to the United States...
...I had my first interview at UVa just two days after getting off the plane. I've decided that I'll write some posts about each of my interview experiences and my personal reviews of each school! (They're all excellent schools, by the way. Not to brag, but just saying that no matter what I say, I do feel that the people who attend these schools will certainly become fine physicians.)
But before I start doing that, just a few personal photos to get out of the way. First, the day after my UVa visit, Boston brother George L paid a visit and we ate out in College Park:
Yes, it's just pictures of wings, sliders, and tater tots (or something? can't remember), not us doing anything interesting, but are you really surprised? Plus, at least there's proof that he was there in back ground of the wings...
And then my aunt, older cousin, and her daughter came to visit:
Little Clara has a habit of just going off to do her own thing in the woods, carving out her own path through the leaves, only to cry when caught by my cousin Joahnna. Nothing like an adorable, willful little girl to leave you entertained before going off to talk to a bunch of medical people in various different cities. And autumn in the United States... really is the best.
But before I start doing that, just a few personal photos to get out of the way. First, the day after my UVa visit, Boston brother George L paid a visit and we ate out in College Park:
Yes, it's just pictures of wings, sliders, and tater tots (or something? can't remember), not us doing anything interesting, but are you really surprised? Plus, at least there's proof that he was there in back ground of the wings...
And then my aunt, older cousin, and her daughter came to visit:
From left to right: Tita Juliet, Clara, Ate Joahnna, Nanay
Little Clara has a habit of just going off to do her own thing in the woods, carving out her own path through the leaves, only to cry when caught by my cousin Joahnna. Nothing like an adorable, willful little girl to leave you entertained before going off to talk to a bunch of medical people in various different cities. And autumn in the United States... really is the best.
The waning days and the first goodbye...
Just a picture from one of my last runs as the season started to transition into summer...
We then celebrated the departure of Athi S, who went off to go work in East London (capital of Eastern Cape):
And then I held a little dinner party for some colleagues (somehow failed to take pictures when the rest of the team arrived):
This was a couple of days before I went back to the United States, to start the medical school interview trail. Life became rather fast at this point, to be honest. Almost too fast to process the first goodbye to Cape Town. And I guess I did know in the back of my mind that I'd be returning soon enough...
We then celebrated the departure of Athi S, who went off to go work in East London (capital of Eastern Cape):
And then I held a little dinner party for some colleagues (somehow failed to take pictures when the rest of the team arrived):
From left to right: Eldi v, Zikhona S, Denise B; props to Eldi and Z for helping cook, and Denise (and later Rachel C and Lindi v) for bringing along more food!
This was a couple of days before I went back to the United States, to start the medical school interview trail. Life became rather fast at this point, to be honest. Almost too fast to process the first goodbye to Cape Town. And I guess I did know in the back of my mind that I'd be returning soon enough...
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